It all started with a little girl tracing her mother’s footsteps while still holding the end of her saree. When she did stop doing that, she walked alongside the stiff and confident footsteps of her father as he guided her to the school. Then started her journey. She watched people come and go. She followed some while some followed her and at times they walked together. Some stayed for a while, some left as soon as possible and some are still there admiring their togetherness. Among those who left, some kept the door open and some left her wanting to shut herself forever. Some walked away with such ingratitude that at times she kept looking at their footsteps, hoping that one day they will erode and she will never trace them back. Boldly though she walks now with people who care and love, hoping that one day her Footsteps will guide a few unto their destiny!
That night when my best friend did not want to talk with me, I looked at the night sky and found solace in the only moon..
That night when my loved one said those hurtful words, I looked up with watery eyes and again found the moon watching over me..
That night when I thought I will die and won’t wake up ever again in this body, I saw the moon peeping through the window at me..
That night when I got to know that the person who treated me like a princess breathes no more, I looked at the dark sky with blank eyes and there again I found the moon shining over me…
That night when I slept soaking my pillow with tears and went to sleep hoping to open eyes to a world less cruel and more loving, I watched the moon accompany me till I fell asleep..
And now when I point at the night sky and say “There!That’s my best friend, he has seen me at my worst.”,they laugh calling me silly and I once again look at the sky and smile at my Friend.
What does happiness mean to me?
How should I define it?
Should I define it as the time when the little me used to play with the pebbles in the corner of our garden or should I define it as the nostalgic feeling that I get now when I remember those precious childhood memories?
Should I define it as the brown polka dotted skirt that used to open up like an umbrella every time I swirled around or should I define it as the first time I wore my mom’s saree?
No, I think I will define it as the joy in my father’s eyes when I got selected in to a government college.
But I also remember this guy who gave me butterflies, who made me feel special.
And then there’s this friend I leaned on when I was vulnerable.
And what about rain and my half drenched self, looking at the raindrops racing down the roof top?
Crap I totally forgot about the two people I shared my childhood with. The big brother with whom I watched all the cartoons and went on adventures on our way back to school. Then the elder sister who was my boss, who regulated my timing to go out, and on whose wardrobe I used to fall back in times when I felt I had no suitable clothes for my college functions.
Happiness is also my grandmother who used to sit by the front door till we returned safely back to home and the grandfather who loved to pose for the camera.
Oh and also it’s those little picnic trips I went with my friends to.
Also happiness is my neighbor’s little kid and me chasing the moon.
Happiness is sister’s marriage, brother getting placed and niece and nephew.
Happiness is cousins waiting in hometown for you to come back from your treatment.
Happiness is friends in an unknown city.
Happiness is knowing that no matter how bad the situation is it will pass. Happiness is having courage to smile.
Happiness is everything I am surrounded right now with, happiness is everything I am right now ‘coz I decided not to let its opposite define me.
Happiness is knowing that I am loved and I can love too. Happiness is the awareness that I am on the right path.
Do I go looking for happiness?
Well if we read everything I wrote about I never went looking for it, it was always there. All I did is, I started recognizing it. I started recognizing the pebbles I played with, the skirt I swirled in, the family I have, the guy that loved me, the friends I lean on and the numerous other things. Happiness can come as small little packages or big noticeable boxes, happiness can come as a person or a season, happiness can come as a pebble or a skirt, all we need to do is recognize it and embrace it.
In the end one thing I would like to mention is Happiness is a choice. If you decide to be happy you can find it all around you.
You open up to someone,
Letting them blend in your skin.
Every touch of their skin,
And you engrave each sense of yours with their feel.
Then the inevitable comes “The Change”.
But you hold on so tight that you incinerate every sense of yours.
You try to flow, you try to move on,
But you didn’t really let go of that one twig.
Release it, let the current drive you.
Let life’s wing spread.
The senses will rise like a Phoenix from the ashes,
Renewed with energy, renewed with boundless love.
Flow like the water, don’t resist
And a present will come where the love will unveil itself…
An object was once stolen,
Fragile was the object stolen,
20years, it was safely kept,
Not breaking was the objective.
As the object of thought was love,
Trusting his object of affection,
She let the object to be stolen,
Safekeeping, now his objective.
Love was the one true objective,
Never was she objectified,
Thence there was no objection,
And so the object was never broken.
Swarming surrounding so swift,
Suddenly she slipped single step,
Sorrow striken, she spoke slow,
“Shall she stand, should someone support ?”
Shrunken state, still she smiled.
Slowly she stood, spreading sense.
Someone support she shan’t search.
Stellar self-confidence, she shall show.
So she stood singing song ” Sister shall share, sister shall smile. Sister shall stand, sister shall speak.”
-This post is dedicated to all the lovely ladies out there on this Women’s Day. Remember never await for someone to pick you up, stand up for yourself and by doing so you will be the inspiration for so many others to stand up for themselves.
– This post is also written in accordance with the IndiSpire prompt #YestoS (every word in the poem starts with ‘S’)
The way people blend in with Nature at times makes us realize that we humans, after all are a part of nature. The wondrous and amazingly breathtaking creation of nature can only be saved and relished when humans start living harmoniously with it. Harmony for me is being one with Nature.
We live in two worlds, a world within and a world outside. Play along with the world within, explore your imagination and bring it into the world outside. We don’t have to live the way other’s live, we always have the option to create our way and add a new definition to the word life. Why be a follower when you can be a creator 😉
It feels I have been waiting here since a million years. I feel complete but I feel lost. I was making a list of beautiful words and I got hung up on ‘Querencia’. What a beautiful word!!
A place where I can feel at home, be my authentic self. I seek for such a place in someone’s heart. A place where I can be me, completely and wholly. I want to run away into the wild with a hand in “that someone’s” hand. I want a love flowing from acceptance. This wanting isn’t craving, it is a wish to experience pure love. I have faith out of the chaos a beautiful heart will emerge with immense feeling of love for me. Till then let me wait here with a symbol of love so that “that someone” can find me without escaping into Oblivion.
Today I was just pondering over my confused thoughts and feelings, playing over and over again the same thoughts, not reaching a conclusion. So not getting a closure, I reverted back in time to my childhood. Back then I just knew two words, I just had two ways of expressing everything. I was either happy or sad. Everything was simple.
‘I am happy, I laugh. I am sad, I cry’
But as I grew up I saw people ascribing happiness as good and sadness as bad. I started perceiving life through others view and stopped seeing the world ‘As it is’ and instead started seeing world as ‘As it should be’. The people I was surrounded with made it clear to me that dark skin is a bad thing, that being tall is a good thing, that being an artist is a bad thing ‘coz one can’t earn enough money with it and ‘money’ my friend, is a good thing! Subsequently, I stopped going after what I felt happiness in and always went with what was considered good. Next I came across other terms like love, hatred, nervousness, anxiety, anger, frustration, lonely, good looking, bad looking, sexy and on and on. My two basic clear feelings of either happiness or sadness were clouded. Now I experience something and I search for the perfect word among the defined words to elucidate it to someone, to let them know what I am feeling. Sometimes I feel lost amidst the web of words and I just want to say ‘I feel sad’.
Isn’t it simple. Either we feel happy or we feel sad, and we should go with something which makes us happy. When we go after what is good, we are in actuality going after someone elses definition of happiness. So let’s do stuff which makes us happy, let’s not shy away to cry when we feel like it ‘coz being sad is a part of life. Once we start doing what makes us happy, we will be driven towards it and we don’t have to consciously choose to be happy. Let’s stop naming and defining everything we feel for someone else to acknowledge it ‘coz tis not about what others feel, tis about what we feel.